XMAS CAN BE REALLY AWFUL FOR SOME PEOPLE


There’s a lot of pressure over Xmas. I used to call it “enforced institutional mirth”. Part of the problem is to think you HAVE to be happy as that’s what we are told to do. And of course you have to spend time with people that really trigger you. How about that for a gift! Yeah keep it festive, Dan!

Well, there are a multitude of complexities over this time.

However, if you love this time of year, stroll on. Nothing to see here.

Back to those of you that struggle:

• The odd need to show “love” through gift buying, out of fear/guilt.

• Because it’s somewhat of a forced transaction, the chance you are just buying something for the sake of it and therefore the recipient saying something like “O really nice” and barely ever touching it again

• the need for forced mirth and rictus grins when you are feeling really uncomfortable

• getting drunk by 11am on 2 bucks fizz and being so full of carb-based “goodies” by 3pm that you have your first argument by Dec 25th 330pm!

Recognise any of this?

Of course all that is happening here, from a psychodynamic point of view, is that your normally well-covered shadow is being provoked and exposed. And perhaps your sufficiently “awake” to no longer want to put up with the fake pantomime!

And family members are oh-so expert at triggering! They hold the mirror up to our unhealed trigger-points. They do it REALLY well it must be said.

That being said (and on the basis you are following me thus far, if you’re not just dm me) what’s the best way to NAVIGATE this?

Here’s what I would do.

DO THE BULK OF THE HEALING WORK BEFOREHAND

1/ Recognise there may well be triggers or flashpoints for you

2/ Notice how they feel when they arise in you

3/ Stay down in the body with the feeling, eventho the eruption maybe putting the inhabitants of Pompei in danger!

4/ Allow the feeling to be there in full in the body, as you do so breathe it into the heart centre, hold it there and release on outbreath

5/ Continue til gone.

Just a little pre-gig Strategy to overcome any emotional disasters!

If you’d like any more on this, or if you have a particular struggle, do give me a shout.

WhatsApp direct message +44 77239 25056

Published by Dan Sainsbury Transformational Psychology

Dan Sainsbury is a world-leading transformational psychologist and healer.

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