Victor, Not Victim


The sales trainer came in to attempt to train us very skeptical, battle-weary individuals who thought they knew all they had to about their role. We’d had trainers come and go and they left no impact.

This guy was yammering away about how you can chose your mental state and I thought what a crock. I didn’t buy all that false yee-haa positivity (indeed I struggled a lot with my moods) and I was probably the most skeptical in the room, arms very folded across the chest in a “What you got?” pose.

So I stopped him. I said, it’s nonsense that you can change your mood. If you’re down you’re down, nothing you can do about it. He said, not true, you can. I said, Give me an example.

Whereupon he gave the exemplum of Dr. Viktor Frankl, the Jewish psychologist who was bundled, with his wife and parents, and taken to Auschwitz concentration camp during ww2.

He not only lost his wife and parents in the 1st few weeks of being there but the one thing that then kept him going – writing the manuscript for a book he had already started – was taken away and stamped into the ground.

As his fellow prisoners reduced to skeletal mass and struggled to lift even one foot over a step to leave their dorm, sleeping 4 or 5 to a bed, he noticed a psychological phenomenon.

As a psychologist, he noticed that between the stimulus of an outer event e.g. of being hit by a guard, and the internal response e.g. rage, there was a small gap.

In that gap, he saw he had the time to chose his outer response. Indeed, that was the difference between being beaten harder or not at all. If you are hit, and you retaliate, you’re hit harder.

He spent his time in there CULTIVATING that gap, widening it and after a few months he found WHATEVER was happening, he was peaceful. He resided in that ever widening gap. When it came to leaving the camps he felt entirely strong and peaceful.

When this trainer shared some of this I was indeed sold. Can’t argue with it. And Frankl was the inspiration to make my life better. To chose my mental states. And indeed to become a psychologist and to help others.

So if you’re in a foul mood, or you feel something is unfair, or any other victim mindset, check yourself. And chose again.


What would it be like if you could absolutely control your moods?

What would it be like if you could select the best possible moods whenever you wanted?

To move through negative moods at will?

Dan Sainsbury, world-leading Transformational Psychologist will show you.

Book your session here and Dan will get back in touch to schedule the session:

Published by Dan Sainsbury Transformational Psychology

Dan Sainsbury is a world-leading transformational psychologist and healer.

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