We Have Emotions All Wrong

“I’m so worried about this upcoming event”. 3 days later, “How did the event go?” “Oh fine actually”.

“I feel so guilty about not spending time with him” “Have you asked him if he minds?” “No.”

“I’m so angry at the way she spoke to me today” “How’s that working for you?”.

“I woke up super anxious about all the things I have to do” “Is your anxiety helping?” “No, of course not”.

To be so dictated to and governed by emotions is clearly a waste of time. Yet most humans think they ARE their emotions.

They are blown this way and that by them like a sapling in a gale.

Are you not absolutely done with that nonsense?


We are never told as children, or indeed as adults, that we are not our emotions. And that clearly they are wildly inaccurate most of the time.

Yet they have such a stronghold on us and force us to do things (shout at a loved one sometimes doing irreparable damage to a relationship) and NOT do things (ask that beautiful person out; start your passion-project; leave an abusive partner) way too frequently. 

Therapists and coaches often don’t help either. Far too concerned with the cognitive level, the thought level, trying to challenge your thinking and battling emotions with logic.

It largely DOES NOT HELP.

I was fortunate enough to be exposed to the idea that it is our FEELING (emotional) layer that is the FUEL for our thinking. 

The emotional layer is fundamental to the type of thinking you engage in, funda-mental, literally “underneath the mental” . It’s foundational to it, so when you address THAT level, that’s when the natural shifts and uplifts to your perception and perspective occur.

So, for example, let’s say you have an anxiety at an emotional intensity of an 8 / 10, your thoughts will reflect that.

If you found a way to bring that to a 4, your thoughts would soften and become automatically more optimistic about the thing you are anxious about. 

At a 0 there would be total relief, and an automatically empowered and optimistic mindset.

See, thoughts and feelings work in tandem.

There are 2 techniques I use to bring the emotions to a zero.

If you’d like to try them out, best to speak to Dan directly:

WhatsApp: +44 77239 25056

Email : dansainsbury.transformation@gmail.com

Published by Dan Sainsbury Transformational Psychology

Dan Sainsbury is a world-leading transformational psychologist and healer.

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