- You’re stuck in traffic late for an important meeting. Everyone is hooting and there seem to be REALLY dithery drivers when the traffic finally starts to move.
- Your partner seems to disrespect you at a social event and even seems to be flirting with an attractive guest.
- Your boss overlooks you for some quality work you did and a seemingly lesser competent colleague is praised for something really basic.
There are countless times we are triggered every day, and the emotional reactions can be anything from shame to fear to jealousy — and the intensity anything along the continuum from mild to highly intense.
Traditional ways to deal with this range from VENTING (which can cause relational, interpersonal or career damage), to SUPPRESSION (which can cause a build up then an eruption later down the line – even to health issues) to DISTRACTION (which can include medication, alcohol, over exercising etc) to DEFERMENT (taking it out on someone else later in the day who really didn’t deserve it).
I believe that each time we are emotionally triggered is a unique opportunity to CLEAR the trigger in the self — and the ultimate result of this is, when this is completed IN FULL you can remain a paragon of peace and equanimity and perspicacity EVEN IN THE MIDST of traditionally triggering events.
When we remain authentically and naturally peaceful and unmoved, THEN we have access to our most formidable inner resources: intelligence, insight, instinctual best decision-making, seeing the greater truth in the situation — and we are able to navigate each and every situation optimally.
Technique to clear triggers.
When you feel the emotion arising due to the trigger, do the following:
- Drop out of the head and bring your awareness down into the body where the emotion is.
- ALLOW the feeling and BREATHE IT into the Heart-Centre (the centre point of your chest).
- Hold it there for 2 seconds, and breathe it out.
- Repeat 1-3 with what remains of the emotion.
This is called TRANSMUTATION and will clear the emotion. Keep doing this each and every time you are triggered and before long there will be this peaceful, calm intelligence that will be present. It’s glorious!
The key is to deal ONLY with the feeling and NOT the flurry of thoughts that come on the back of the emotion. Don’t get distracted by emotion-fuelled thoughts!
Try this for the next few days and let me know how you get on.