Intimate Relationships WILL Trigger You: Good!


I was once in a relationship that was beautifully amazing for about 8 months – this extended honeymoon period of feeling amazing to be around each other. We would lay on the sofa in her flat and plan on which restaurants or bar we were going to that evening but instead just stay in, marinading in the beautiful energy that was there between us, and not end up going out!

Then at about month 9 the wheels came off and all the shadow side of her arose – she became highly critical and scrutinising and judgmental of my every move and we spent about 3 months just arguing and then temporarily solving, and salving, the argument.

Then the end of the relationship was strange – by the virtue of her having to move out of her appartment but not having anywhere planned to move into in time – she had to stay with me. Even though we had broken up. It was a very trying few weeks.

She moved out and I was free. Phew.

Then the week after she left, I really missed her. Ideas bubbled up of coming back together so on the Friday I called her, under the pretense of “wanting to know how she is”. After about 20 mins of totally pointless conversation, the real reason arose as to why I called.

“Have you missed me at all?”

“Um, I’ve been so busy moving into my new place and with work that I haven’t had much time to think about it”

“OK, this sounds crazy, but would you ever consider going back out with me?”

“No way. Ha, do you not remember how bad the last few months have been?”

“Oh yeah, fair enough”.

I hung up the phone, retreated to my sofa and had nowhere to go but “fall on my own sword”.

I cried hard, lamenting yet another relationship loss and tried to find any unconscious program in me that was causing this string of amazing then failed relationships. I lamented also the idea that I may never be successful in a relationship. Cue more tears. Actually, more like the wailing you’d see in a Mexican soap opera!

I cleared all the programs in me that were somehow disallowing successful relationships (ask me for the technique) and after a few hours of clearing and crying, I felt peace. Ahhh, felt amazing. I felt completely clear, and happy.

All my NEED for her disappeared, and when I thought of her I JUST felt love. Nothing else. No fear, no need, pure Love. I internally wished her well, and moved on.

After about a week of feeling this way toward her, she called me — wanting to see me again.

1st rule of manifestation — clear ALL the negative emotions, feelings, stories, ideas (negative NEGATES that which you want,) and just feel the LOVE (positive positions).

Relationships ARE Triggering

Relationships BY THEIR NATURE are triggering — they are a strong mirror for ALL your “stuff” to come up — anything that is unhealed in you will rise up — any feelings of inadequacy, not being enough, fears, anger, judgment and the like.

Most people will automatically PROJECT that — causing arguments and discontent in the relationship — thinking that those unhealed programs are “just how it is” as you have always had them.

They are not “just how it is” — they are sacred opportunities to let those programs arise to then clear / transmute them.

When you turn the relationship on its head in this way, and KNOW that they are triggering and ALLOW the programs to rise and then clear them (and not project them) therein lies the GOLD. The Gold of your Higher Self can begin to shine through.

Before long you will be SO peaceful, SO loving (without needing anything) that you will be highly attractive to be around. OR you will make the choice to move on from your partner as you will see them as being too evolutionarily slow.

A partner at your level will then come in. Or a partner that will provoke other patterns that haven’t yet been healed in you. They won’t do it deliberately – it’s just natural and how it works.

10 years on from this relationship, and having treated 100s of people with their relationship flaws and phobias, I have distilled all my teaching and techniques into one course called S.A.F.E. In Love.

S – Security comes from within NOT from your partner

A – Alchemy of any negative program in you; clearing any and all negative relational patterning that is in you

F – Find the Light in the other and activate that, to maximise the opportunities in the relationship

E – Execute on your Highest Vision of a relationship with your partner or future partner

If you’d like to talk to me about the S.A.F.E. In Love course OR you simply wish to heal any negative relationship “program” in you, please complete the following, or message me +44 77239 25056:

Published by Dan Sainsbury Transformational Psychology

Dan Sainsbury is a world-leading transformational psychologist and healer.

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