I was speaking with someone recently who had been “wronged” by someone she had been seeing. As discussed in a previous post, she found out that he had still been on a dating site and was seeing other women.
She ended up pretending to be someone else on this dating site by setting up a new profile — and lo and behold he got in contact and started trying to “pitch” this new woman (the fictitious profile) talking about all his wonderful accolades and achievements and successful businesses.
Whilst she couldn’t believe that she’d done this, that it was “wildly out of character”, I explained it was one of her sub-personalities that had been triggered and activated that she was playing out.
I had the sense that this is a SURFACE or SYMPTOM issue, that there was a deeper mistrust of men generally and lo and behold after about 10 minutes of chatting she said “All you men are crazy”.
I remember when I was 19 and dating an “older woman” of 28 (she seemed SOOO much older than me), which was my first intimate relationship, when after about 7 months I decided to end the relationship her comment was “all men are b*stards”. I was a sweet guy, had never been in a relationship before and immediately recognised the falseness in her statement.
Yet that BELIEF SYSTEM was her OPERATING SYSTEM: and whilst those operating systems run, particularly if they are vigorously run WILL CAUSE the very thing you are so sure about, akin to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Exercise For You:
Check in with yourself. Do you have a belief about the opposite sex?
What is it?
These beliefs run like scripts in you and will subtly cause the very thing that you don’t want to happen.
These scripts need to be dissolved.
The most wonderful relationship has ZERO DEGREE of adverserial-ness. By its nature it’s predicated upon WANTING THE VERY BEST for your partner. This cannot be done if there are traces of mistrust, resentment, fear and the like.
Do you recognise any of this?
Do you want to begin to clear out these adverserial programs that are in you?
If so, you can talk to me about HOW I do this — and how I do it to completion:
Excited to hear from you.