How Are You Using Relationships?

One of the biggest causes of a downfall of a relationship is how you USE them. As a kind of commodity:

  • as a way to prop up your mood or self-esteem
  • to squeeze joy out of
  • to stop yourself being lonely or insecure
  • as a way of not working on yourself and your deeper psychological “fault lines”.

If they are used in this way – as an ego prop – this commodity will be drained and before long it will become a husk of its former self.

When this is turned entirely on its head and you see relationships instead as a MIRROR AND A SEARCHLIGHT, to see what you need to LEARN and what you need to do to work on your SELF, then they become a fount of discovery.

• Why am I continually attracted to distant men?
• Why do I become so short-tempered within a relationship?
• Why do they always leave me?

The clues are in your past …. what was your dad like? Your mum? The relationship they had together?

There is deep and impactful patterning in your past that needs to be exposed and worked through.

Once this has been done then there is far less chance you will USE a relationship to prop up the vulnerable ego and you can instead be far more creative and deliberately joyful in your pursuits with your partner.


  1. What patterns do you keep seeing in your relationships?
  2. Are there similar traits across all your partners?
  3. Do your relationships end for similar reasons?
  4. What are your relationship fears and insecurities?

Are you ready to go deep and do this work so you can really be FREE in a relationship?

Send me a message via the Sessions tab, and we can set up an introductory call so I can share with you how I do this work. 😊

Published by Dan Sainsbury Transformational Psychology

Dan Sainsbury is a world-leading transformational psychologist and healer.

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